Feeling worthless?

When do you feel worthless?

For me, I felt worthless when I was not appreciated. You did/do something with no feedback from the other side. But seeing the other party response to someone else's actions just make it harder for you to swallow it. You are left alone, feeling unappreciated.

Perhaps that is what happening to me now. So what to do? Uttering my signature line.."sabar je lah". Think positive on why this thing happened and try to make an empathize conclusion that they had better things to attend to. Perhaps, my needs are not important to someone else's. Or maybe I'm being tested because Allah knows that I can handle it? I like to think so. Just to make myself feel happy. And surprisingly, these thoughts helped :-)


Sabar je lah!

15 Ramadhan


It has been 15 days of Ramadhan. So far so good. I've made good of the nights (I'd missed only 2 nights of Tarawih). Other than that, the transformation of myself had been well.

Malaysian Delicacies

My break fast locations were mixed. Most of the time at home, few times at the masjid (my mom insisted me to go because she is the Masjid AJK), I've been to IKEA buffet, Seoul Bulgogi, Mirza's house and few other places including mamak stalls. Not to mention bubur lambuk Kg. Baru everyday brought home by my dad. Yes, everyday! hehe.. Tonight I'll be joining my batch mates to buka puasa at MCOBA Penthouse. This is one of our annual events and InsyaAllah this year we'll have Tarawih as well (which previously selalu escape due to 'dah biasa' attitude! hehe)

Nasi Kerabu

I must say, this is one of the colorful Ramadhan I've had in these past 4 years. It felt different, nevertheless it is refreshing. If previously in the States, I only ate one chicken dish with rice, now I hardly eat rice, with various dishes and kuih-muih. My favorite so far is...hard to say lah, everything is good! :-) But I love murtabak, nasi kerabu & laksam. Yeah, I'm not a Kelantanese (Kejor yob kejor all the way!) but my taste bud seemingly geared towards KB delicacies. Hmm..to do justice I should fuse both foods together. Perhaps Nasi Kerabu Tempoyak or Laksam with cendol Kuala.


Puasa 15 hari, turun 1.5 kg. Puasa lagi 15 hari turun 3 kg in total. Raya 1 hari naik 2 kg. Raya sebulan...imagine yourself!

Selamat Berpuasa to everyone. Hope you have a blessed Ramadhan. Tahan la nafsu sikit, tak lama dah nak raya! Grab this opportunity to seek Allah's blessing. Oh, one more thing. If you could please make a du'a for me to land a job soon. I've applied to almost 10 companies to no replies. I've started to feel edgy a bit due to lack of attention..hehe..Thank you guys! :-)

Justin Bieber & a spoiled tarawih

I was waiting in line to get my drinks for iftar at Masjid nearby. Suddenly I heard a small voice singing "Baby..baby..baby oooo.." I look around and see no one was making a concert (I meant, no one is singing passionately la..) Then the words were heard again. It was the little boy in front of me who was singing quietly.

That's fine.

But after the boy walk away & take his seat, someone was hymning the "Baby" song behind my back. Haiyoo, the boy had sparked a chain of fans in the line! I looked back & to my astonishment, it was an adult, in his 30's i guess, hymning the whole song from the start. I creep a smile and walk away without showing my face to him.


The incident kept the songs ringing in my ears, throughout the tarawih! Aarghh, there was no Satan to whisper in my ears, but I guess the JB Jinn had caught up to me. Habis tak kusyuk aku! Sabar je la..

p/s: siap ko JB, aku bakar album kau!

Ya Allah, lindungi lah kami dari kejahatan..Lady Gaga & Illuminati

I've been skeptical since the first day Lady Gaga's - Alejandro clip came out. I watched it on MSN USA website and it was spine chilling for me. I don't know why, but I sense something wrong in there. Now I've found an explanation of 1 perspective about the video clip. It is shocking! Click the link and read on.


p/s: this is not a scam that I can hack your computer or something. Please read on if you love Islam. Let Allah shield us from the deceptions of Dajjal. Amin.

What is done, is done!

My favorite quote of the day, (from someone's blog I stumbled upon, if you knew it's urs, pinjam ek..! :-P )

"Remember, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube."

So basically, what is done, is done. Don't regret, move on with it because the broken had been done, you can't turn back time. Find the solution and learn from it. People make mistakes. But don't be afraid to make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and vow to not wanting to repeat them again. 

Think before you act. An easy statement that is hard to obey. I often found myself guilty of committing this crime through words. I may utter a very ridiculous statement without thinking, just for the sake of "reasoning"(alasan). Tak bagus, tak bagus.

Cinta Kirana

I admit that these past few weeks had been tough for me. I've been searching for jobs and having depressed a bit. I stayed home for most of the time and one of the way for me to kill my time is watching Sinetron on Astro Ria. My mind is now hooked on Cinta Kirana, casting from Nia Ramadhani & Randy Palalala....tah, apa nama pun tak tau! not important..hehe

The reason I like the show is because of Nia (of course). Not just because she is beautiful, but also the way she represents the character of an honest person. She was brought up by her grandma in the 'kampung' and was fairly modest in appearance; nicely tied hair, t-shirt, khaki shorts and flip-flops. She lead her life according to what she believe is fair and truthful. She always get mad when being sidelined by the rich and often being labelled as un-civilized. Beneath her iron skin, she is loyal to her friends and hardworking to earn an honest living. Never she did try to gain wealth through unwarranted means. All in all, I fell in love with her character. Nia Ramadhani is now happily married. Haish..melepas den! hehe..
There's one scene in the show that portrays a typical Malay mindset. When (Kirana) was crying  and caught attention of Galang (Randy), whom previously demise the introduction of Kirana to his wealthy family. Suddenly, Galang felt sympathy of Kirana because of her condition, often being taunted and insulted by his family. When Galang's grandma look at the sudden change of attitude of Galang towards Kirana, she quickly justify the situation as being, Galang had been under Kirana spell (black magic, santau all that stuff la..).

Why is the Malay mindset always quick to justify people's action or inaction to black magic? Is it because it is the convenience excuse for us to make quick decision accordance to our feelings? Yes, there are cases of things happen because of that. However, according to Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah, "we should sought, professional, sane mind to help out our troubles first, before asserting to alternative means." By quickly justifying each condition to such anathematic act we will forever be narrow minded. We need openness in life to help us lead a blessed life by Allah SWT. InsyaAllah..

A dead Blog

Hello Bloggies,

Sorry for the very silence I've been ( I know, I've been apologizing to much now..hehe). I'm now back in Malaysia (KL) for good. Still looking for the right job, still applying here and there.

People had been surprised with my unemployed status. Most of them saying "Grad oversea pun tak bley dapat kerja lagi?" Haha..I know, it is the hard time in the economy. Not so much of its being in the recession. Because post-recessionary state is the worst of all, which unluckily, it is this current moment. Plus, I'm so stubborn to verge out of my line (Insurance/Banking) to search for marketing/management jobs. Hehe..I'm trying to pursue my passion without the much needed experience in hand, very hard to do. However, things are looking bright again. Lots of people trying to help me searching for the right job. Alhamdulillah, perhaps Allah grant my wishes.

On the other note, this is what had been pulling me down for the past week. Sharifah Farah & I are no longer an item. Don't ask me why, but we let it off in good terms. 4 years & 10 months. Both of us are still being good friends with each other. No hard feelings. Mind you, if you read this, you are one of the earliest to know about it. Even my Mom & Family doesn't know about it yet.

I've been around, here and there for the past a month & a half since I've touchdown in KLIA. The best thing is finally, I'm able to fast & celebrate Raya with my family after the long 4 years. Alhamdulillah. I feel very much lively this Ramadhan and so far had been making good use of the nights :-) I'll make good use of this month with lots of prayers to soothe my soul & to re energized my ibadah. InsyaAllah.

So guys, if so happen you want to call me to have a catchup, feel free to do that. PM me on FB and I'll pass you my number. Have a good Ramadhan and don't forget to wish whatever that you want in this blessed month. Happy fasting friends!

Azree Azhar / EE / Mao

I'm Graduating in 9 days!

Salam & Hello Everyone!

Sorry for a week of silence. I've been busy finishing up my finals and my last day of school here at Penn State. I WILL BE GRADUATING IN 9 DAYS!!

Click these pictures to make it larger
Room Mate (Shafiq Shafian) 25 Simmons Hall - 2006

Sadness & joy mix together in my mind right now. As of writing this post, I am sitting in my very last shift of my undergrad part-time work. I really like to work here, that's why I've been around the same place for 3 years! hehe..

Freshman year (the whole batch) 2006

It feels so short of a time. 4 years. But come to think about it, I've done so much during these past 4 years at Penn State.

1. Becoming a MASA President. - Checked!
2. Learn the culture and make friends with lots of American. - Checked!
3. Obtaining a degree in Actuarial Science. - Checked!
4. Finish up few Actuarial papers before graduation. - Not Check...
5. Following (die-hardily) Penn State Football. - Checked!
6. Keeping my long-distance relationship with Farah. - Checked!
7. Win the Overall Champion of Midwest Games. - Checked!

Geng Rambut Panjang - BBQ 2007

Those are just few of stuffs that I can think right now. There were lots of stuffs going on during my 4 years here. Almost all of them bring good memories and experience to me. Oh, how I don't want to leave State College!

Blue & White Game 2008

But  4 years away from home is long enough for me. Now I need to go back and giving back to the country in any way, shape and form. I'm very grateful to have a scholarship by MARA to study here. It's been an honor to be a MARA student. Thank you MARA. Thanks for the great institution that you have been.

With MARA Officers (Najib & Meriam) in Washington DC 2008

I will miss Penn State very much. The laughter, the tears, the shouting of "We Are.." and the reply of "Penn State!". Nittany lions will be in my blood. I will be back. I'll step my foot again here in the future. InsyaAllah. For now, I have to leave you Penn State. I need to show the world, what good that you have taught me here.

Midwest Games Champion Dinner 2009

Penn State Forever!

Blue & White Photos

As promised, I update some photos on the event yesterday. I went in & around the stadium! Scavenging places that I've never been before. I can say that things look different from every angle.

Well, enjoy the photos guys! Rest of them are on FB.

Beaver Stadium with Carnival outside

Points to ponder
Suddenly it strucks me, everything in life is about perspective. Whether you see it from your POV or others. But when you become the big "decision-maker", you must try to look it from different angle of the problem, solution & REPERCUSSIONS! Some people throw the last thing out and yet feels good about the decision that they make. Doesn' that construed being Zalim?

Like what happen to South Park this past week. The creator of South Park (Matt & Trey) got death notes from an extremist so-called Islamic group. They portray the prophet Muhammad SAW as a God of Muslim and trying to show his figure.
  1. The issue is totally wrong! (Muhammad is just a prophet, normal human being like everyone but is appointed as a Prophet by Allah) 
  2. I know that Free Speech is a right, but DO NOT misuse it to make fun of sensitive issues.
  3. Those so-called Islamic radical group, please don't misuse the name of Allah for your own political game. Plus, don't use JIHAD as the platform to spread your crooked lust. Held a dialogue or press conference or anything to EDUCATE people, not threatening them.
Just a plain case of not seeing things from all angles.

Final game in Beaver Stadium!

Today is the Blue & White game; an annual event which Penn State Football team showcase its ability for next season. They play each other (1st team vs. 2nd team), somewhat like watching Penn State team training on the pitch. But, it is going to be fun! Last year Penn State fans flock the FREE event to amount 76500 fans..That's crazy! Because it is not a real game, just watching the team training on the field. To be able to pull out the number shows how big pool of fan that Penn State really has.

And this is why I'm going to miss Penn State Football..

This will surely be my very last attendance at Beaver Stadium as an undergraduate student. I may be coming back here in the future (as an Alumni) to watch a game, I may be not. Who knows..It's sad to think about it but life must go on..right guys? Funny to realize that at the same time last year, I was telling Daju' that she's going to miss this type of atmosphere. Now, I am the one who will actually step in her shoes. I will going to have fun and try not to be sad. Enjoying my last time here at Penn State.

We are...PENN STATE, forever!

**LIVE telecast on ESPN2..Not bad for a "training session"..haha

Riba': The untold story

I've always been sceptical on what have I learned in class so far. In my course, the essence of Financial/Insurance system is breeding money through interests (ie: compound interest = interest over interest). But I never know to what extend is Riba' in our daily lives.

After I've attended an online discussion with few of my MCOBs, now I understand why I felt a bit sceptical from the start. It IS definitely Riba'.

"Riba equals to interest of any size. Riba = “gain accompanies gain”. No lose situation for the owner of money." - Zahid Aziz, Muamalah Financial Consulting

The definition of interest of any size is including receiving the interest from banks on your savings account. Why is that? Because you've never agree upon investing in that bank to gain your money! The word investment means that you will definitely know there are 2 outcomes from it, gain money or losing money. Having only to gain the money by interests payment is not in line with Shariah law.

While having to gain money, without losing is good (better yet, logically superior because who want to lose their money?), it is not what had been underlined by the Shariah in Al-Quran & As-Sunnah. As a devout Muslim, we have already agreed that everything sets in Al-Quran is the word of God and HIS messengers which been given to us to live according to HIS wishes. Therefore, we have to obey HIS rule (Shariah Law) and learn how to apply it in our daily lives.
So, what should we do? I'll take on these suggestions from this website:

1) Avoid Riba' altogether by switching to Islamic Finance system. (Kuala Lumpur is currently THE Islamic Finance capital of the world!)
2) If you can't avoid them, try to minimize as little as possible in the transaction.
3) Lessen your debt, pay more upfront (deposits) to reduce the amount of interest paid.

Do your best and your life will be blessed by Allah, InsyaAllah..Allah knows best.

**Please download this FILE for better understanding of the issue.
I've always wanted to write about this book in a while. I picked up this book at Walmart last 2 winter. Haha, I know, it has been years ago & not a place that you will go to find a good book at the first place! At that time I was broke and staying up at State College while all my roommates went to West Coast. It was sad but I kill my time at home with XBox & this book.

Three Cups of a Tea - A true story

Well, this book is about Greg Mortenson, an avid American mountaineer who lost his way at K2 (the second highest peak in the world & the most dangerous of all!) and being saved by villagers high up in the Pakistan Karakoram region. Korphe (the village name) was a peaceful-islamic village but desperately poor. Even with their poor status, they treat Mr. Mortenson the best they could with clothing and foods. One day, after his condition improves, he walked around the village to see what he can do to pay them back. He stumbled upon group of kids, sitting on pile of stones, holding sticks in their hands and scribbling on the dirt. When he approached them, he was brought down to tears as the kids was actually revising what they had learned a day before and the place they were seating on is actually their classroom. The teacher didn't come that day because it wasn't the teacher's turn to come and teach in Korphe. Korphe shares the teacher with other villages nearby as they don't have enough money to pay the teacher. From that moment on, Mr. Mortenson vow to built a formal school for them.

His first hurdled was; Greg Mortenson was only a male nurse! He wasn't rich man. He didn't even have an apartment because he usually bunked at the hospital's locker room. However, he had made a promise to people in Korphe that he will come back and built a school for them. He stick to it. He wrote hundreds of letters (with typewriter because he was computer illiterate!) to raise funds for the school. No one trust him. But he never give up. He saved his own money and keep on reaching people in America to help him built a school in Pakistan. One day, he managed to convince a fellow mountaineer to fund his project. Since then, he never look back and to-date his Central Asia Institute had built 130 schools in Pakistan & Afghanistan higher regions!

There were many conflicts involve in his quest. But he never backed down. He determine to help those poor people even though he didn't have anything on his own! He built the school totally free of charge and change the community's life forever. Now they could have regular school days, physicians to take care of their health, more vibrant economic activities and the best of all, spread education to lessen extremism views in that region! His school is independently govern by the community and it teaches local syllabus (including Islamic subjects; Quran recitations, Islamic Laws/Values & such!)

Greg Mortenson hasn't embrace Islam yet. However, his values & effort does portray positive signs. He respects Islam. He even perform the 5 a-day prayer with the community (once in while though). His intention never wanting to spread bad influence or converting people to any religion. His goal is clear; to educate and improves people's life through education. What a noble individual!

He is the living example that with correct mind-set, anything is possible. He has the motivation to make it happen. He built a very powerful organization from scratch (literally! because he himself has no money/assets to start with) which now has more than 130 schools in the region. I wish I have that determination.

Browse on to learn more about his story.
Central Asia Institute
Greg Mortenson Biography

**He has a new book! "Stones Into Schools" Will review once I've finish reading it. Just ordered through Amazon.com today! Haha :-P

Food Revolution!

Assalamualaikum & Hello to everyone!

I know that it has been almost a year (11 months to be exact) after my last post! But hey, nobody wants to hear my ramblings anyway :-P haha..Thanks to everyone that has been pressuring me to start writing in my blog again. So from here on forwards, I'll at least try and keep this thing up & going.

I wanted to share with everyone about Jamie's Oliver: Food Revolution TV show. For everyone who has not hear about this AMAZING reality show, it is about Jamie Oliver (the British celebrity chef a.k.a the "Naked Chef") coming to America and try to change the way people views & consuming food. He has astonishingly succeed in Britain where he managed to get the school system over there to eat healthily and trying to bring that success to a small town in West Virginia. Apparently, Huntington,WV (that's the town's name) was voted as the most unhealthy city in the world in 2008! Can you imagine that his effort is trying to change the worst town in the world to get into his eating-healthy-scheme. Good luck on that!!

There were so much resistance that I reckon he would not succeed. However, giving that this is a reality TV show, almost all problems were solved. But it is not how the problems being solved, but his motivation, care-ness and desire to help all the people to eat-healthily is a feat of its own. If his effort doesn't move the people that he's trying to help, at least I can proudly say that he moves me.

Go on, check it out!

For full episodes of his shows, follow this link. Remember to check it out on HULU.com every week.

I am so into healthy eating, but I know that my body doesn't portray my motivation. I'm a bit overweight. I've been avoiding process-food all around (fast foods, nuggets, soft drinks etc.) and have been succeeding in doing it all. However, I believe that my body needs more than healthy food to stay healthy. That's why I'm hitting the gym, playing more soccer, walking to class & just drink lots of water. It's getting there. So far I've lost 4 kg in 1 month. Give & take..haha!

Well, this posting is not about me, it is about Jamie Oliver and change. If you put your mind to it, you can succeed. Seeing what Jamie has done has inspired me to help other people eating properly. I may not be the best role-model out there but I know I can make a difference, if I want to.

So, pick up a salad once in a while. Eat more veggies. And remember, drink lots of WATER. Not process/carbonated/energy/caffeine more than you drink water. Have a bottle of 500ml mineral water at your desk all the time. It doesn't have to be strictly mineral, filtered tap water would do.

There you go. Make a difference in your life, eat healthy foods.